For once, we really want it to be a rumor

Jurassic Park was right; scientists were too busy trying to figure out if they could, they didn't stop to ask if they should.  Michael Jackson fathering quadruplets: is there anything more repulsive and as heinous a crime against humanity as that?  I'm ill just thinking about his reproductive system *doing everything I can to keep down my lunch*.  Jackson proclaims that the story about his fathering quadruplets by a surrogate mother in Florida is false.  For once, I really want to believe him when he says, "I didn't do it."  Who, in their right mind, would subject their body to carry his spawn--an *alleged* child molester who thinks it is A-OK to sleep with children in your bed?  Okay, while this is not for me, by any means, I can understand how immense amounts of debt might drive someone to do that, but it is just too icky.  And I have a high ick-tolerance factor!  I'd rather bathe in a vat of pigs blood, fish eyes, and cow intestines than introduce any bodily fluids or other foreign elements of his into my system.  Blech!  I can predict that being the narcissistic cad he is, these kids will all have "Michael" in their name.  Prince Michael I and II and Paris Michael?  I often wonder what these kids think of their daddy.  Are they so inconsolably embarassed and shunned by their peers?  Do they think this guy is normal?  They wil grow up believing everyone lives in a place called Neverland and it is okay to touch other young children.  Many parents do less to have their children taken away by child protective services, but Wacko-Jacko can get away with dangling his own child 3 stories in the air and sleeping with kids because he has money and is labeled "eccentric?"  While I don't think he's innocent, I do want to believe him that he is not fathering four more unfortunate souls into this world.  God help us all if he is!

At the Cinema: Before Sunset with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy & Spider-man 2 with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina, James Franco, Rosemary Harris

Harper's Bizarre

Congratulations to my friend, Kevin, and his woman, Kate, on the birth of their daughter, Harper Jane, a whopping 7 pounds, 11 ounces, and 20 inches long on July 12. Wowzers! They live in "Keeping Boulder Weird," Colorado (yes, I will come out and learn to snowboard as skiing hurts my legs) and it is a mighty beautiful place. Not Hawaii, mind you, but still, absolutely gorgeous.

It's gettin' hot in herre

New York City's Bravest have come out with the 2005 FDNY calendar--can I get an 'Amen!' Sixteen NYC firefighters posed for the calendar and all proceeds go to the Fire Safety Education Fund. While the FDNY says this calendar promotes what it takes to be a firefighter in terms of physical condition, I don't think there will be many men interested in a career in fire safety buying this calendar, especially since the people who lined up for their autographed calendar were women. All the same, I see what it takes to be a firefighter and I likey! The cover boy is Patrick Gorman--holy shit is all I have to say. Not to be outshown by Patrick and his fireworks, Jim Gerber who poses on the Marine 1 Fire Boat, is a mass of rippling muscles. They interviewed him and he's pretty damn well-spoken. Just so you know, firefighting is not a full-time job. These guys work 2 days on, 2 days off usually. That's 48 hours of awake time to answer random calls like "the water main broke" and "I got locked out of my apartment" (call the locksmith people). What I think the FDNY should sell is a cookbook! I didn't even know firefighters were such great cooks until I was invited to dinner at my local firehouse a few years back. And try cooking a meal while you are getting calls. We didn't actually eat until 11pm when the calls subsided and we could sit and have our Beef Stroganoff. I think it would be a great benefit and they'd get just as much money from that as the calendar--once again, mostly women would be buying it, but I think a few guys would even do it since this is what the country's best firefighters eat to keep in shape and ready to run into a burning building.

Now where did we leave off....

that's right! Poor puppies. As it turns out, the Tulsa police have charged two boys with dousing poor Melody with some kind of gasoline and setting her afire. Can we go back to Hammurabi's Code and do that eye-for-an-eye thing? Sometimes, for such depravity and cowardice, the only solution is to do unto others, no? Well, best of luck to those boys--too bad psychiatry has such a stigma otherwise they'd be getting what they need to not act in such an inhuman manner again.

July 4^th was lovely! In a most American manner, Shenan, Alex, and I made big fat steaks, baked potatoes, and salad with some cold ones and watched the Macy's Fireworks on the East River from their 26 floor apartment. It was the first true fireworks display I've seen in New York that was unobstructed by towering buildings. And because we were so high up, we could see far into Queens and Brooklyn where they were having their own fireworks display. It was too cool to see large sparkles of light in the distance. And watching from atop a high-rise is definitely the way to do it. I won't venture to the crowded East River to stand with smelly people in 80°+ weather craning my neck which happens to sit upon my petite frame, trying to see fireworks through clouds of smoke and large heads. Last year, in Texas, I saw a rather nice fireworks display sitting on the meridian of a street. Since Texas is rather flat, you get a perfect view of everything and those Texans, they love them some America. But there's just something about being in New York--our nation's first capital where George Washington was sworn in as our first president in 1789 (before the capital was moved to Philadelphia in 1791 and finally DC, June 11, 1800).

It finally feels like summer and thank the rain gods for making the weekends clear and sunny (unlike last year when each weekend was marred by rain, rain, rain). This calls for a trip to the beach this weekend for sun and pretty people running around half naked in swimsuits. I'm getting a tan if it means sitting out for 6 hours--that reminds me of my birthday in 1996 when I did sit out on Bellow's Beach (yes, Hawaii!) for 6 hours and got me a very bad burn that tanned me for a good 2 years. I peeled like a reptile and slithered back to Stanford ooo-ing and ouch-ing on the plane ride as those seat covers aren't made of silk or satin. Whatever that pilled material is, it doesn't do much to soothe a burn. Mental note: do not get burned; sun is good, but all things in moderation. You can always go back out to the beach again this summer. And I don't live 5 blocks from Central Park for nothing--while everyone scurries to the Hamptons this weekend, I can sit in the Park.