azureladybug

All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful: The Lord God made them all.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Those look like kneepads

Jason Mraz played at the Beacon Theatre last night on his Curbside Prophets Tour with Makana and an amazing one-man reggage/soul/jazz band Raúl Midón. He is the trumpet minus the actual brass instrument. Not surprisingly, the theatre was filled with hundreds of screaming girls. Maybe even more disturbing was that these girls were mostly 13 year-old uptown rich gals trying to emulate Britney Spears. Those who were not, were not music lovers really--you can certainly dislike someone's music, but stop being such a stuck up, negative bitch in the women's lavatory line. Looking other women up and down while we're all waiting to urinate doesn't make you cool; it makes you freakish in that gimpy sort of way.


When Jason finally took stage at about 930, the stampede of teeny boppers to the stage begins. Did I mention this was a theatre? Meaning my seats 8 rows from the stage were like seats, not standing room. So security had to ask the girls to return to their seats. And after 10 minutes, they'd come back; the Sisyphusian myth in action. They'd stand to the far right of the stage at least so my view was not obstructed. One older, I'd say 40-something and her husband cursed out a 15 year old about 4 rows ahead for standing up and dancing during "You and I Both." Hello, people, this is a concert--I'm sure Jason would have loved it if we all stood up and danced. Alas, they continued to curse her out and she danced until she was happy. I'm sure she felt kinda guilty though--that knot in her stomach. Alas, they could have stood up since they were sitting to the far right. Hey, shut your eyes and take a cue from Raúl Midón (who is happily blind) and just listen to the music.

But the most curious moment had to be the heart-throb honeys, at the denoument of "You and I Both" or maybe "The Remedy" tossing their bras and panties onstage. After a few more songs, Jason makes comments about his percussionist being the only woman on tour with 16 guys and regales us with his "ew, a bra on the floor" story. That's when he says, "oh hey, that is a bra." He picks up one of the gifted undergarments to show us all. It must have been the Ultimate WonderBra promising to quadruple your cup size. After remarking how he could probably eat his cereal out of the cups (I think it makes a better sling for boulders), he looks again at them in disbelief and says, "They look like kneepads." Couple songs later, he tosses it out into the audience. Some poor guy probably got slung with it, but just as it's flying through the air into center orchestra, row 6, a squeaky voiced 13 year old standing at the end of my row screams out "Wait, that's my bra! I need it back!" She's wearing a halter top and I can only imagine how she looked wearing that bra, because it was ironing board heaven on that girl. When we were leaving, we saw her go back to find her endowed-unendowments with some girlfriends. The things you teeny bopper girls do. This is why my daughters will never dress like hoochie mamas to rock concerts if I even let them go.

Jason proved himself a performing pro: maybe because of his musical theatre training. He had tons of stories and knew exactly how to interact with the audience. Witty and smart and the kind of ingenuity Justin and Britney only read about in fairy tales, he's your ultimate musician who treats his audience like intelligent human beings he genuinely wants to share stories with. I hope he never gets so big he has to play Madison Square Garden. I know, bite my tongue, but I prefer live theatre to mega-blockbuster geared concerts. At least I can say I experienced it: like Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds at Berkeley Theatre. Alas, why not more boys out there with as much wit, humor, talent, and a voice the heavens envy--all out of Mechanicsville, VA.

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