Dead sexy
People goo and ga over celebrities all the time. Hell, I've been known to do it on a minute-to-minute basis. Most of my friends need to give me a sedative when I start up on John Mayer or Jude Law. Mmmmmm... Jude Law. Now, yes, I know I am slightly insane about this. I'm insane about most of the men I find attractive, mostly because if it isn't for their amazing good looks, it is for the size of their cranium or some other random ability. And I mean random! Let's remember that I went to Stanford where the geeks of high school matriculate in hopes of (1) shedding their dorky image from high school and (2) cultivating their dorky interests like frisbee golf and starting the Star Wars Club of Stanford. Okay, maybe that was a dorm club, not a school-wide or -financed club, but believe me, that's what you get there. I spent a majority of my time with the actors and English majors so I swooned over people with amazing creative minds coupled with cockiness and good looks. It was always fleeting and I can only imagine what dating a Hollywood celebrity is like.
Jude Law, my Adonis, co-stars with the likes of Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Uma Thurman. He's got the pick of the litter if he wanted to date these women and vice versa. With all these gorgeous women, it must be a practice in self-discipline to keep it professional and not fall all over yourself for one of your co-stars. I mean, who isn't drawn to the very beautiful? And to have it on a daily basis at your JOB? It explains why there are so many Hollywood marriages that go kaput--add the hours and traveling; I'm surprised Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward are still married. Currently, Jude's dating his Alfie co-star Sienna Miller--I've proven my own point. Dating a Hollywood star, especially being an average Jane myself where the most exciting part of my day is not playing a practical joke on Bobby DeNiro but solving a coding issue, would be a nightmare. I'm bland in comparison to the starlet whose job it is to look glamorous and seductive and be able to drape herself on any leading man. Sienna wins over me. Ah Jude, the beautiful children I would have bore you.... Now that we've covered the reason why I don't date the insanely famous, who the hell do I find so damn sexy?
I was watching an episode of CSI with my friend Shenan. On comes Greg Sanders, the Lab Techie, who is about to give the results of some tests he's run on a powdery substance. Greg tries to make himself interesting by doing and saying things out of left field. And this evening was no different. He says,"Let's play 'Name That Compound,'" and proceeds to the white board to do a molecular diagram. As he's drawing out the compound, I turn my head slightly to Shenan without taking my eyes off the screen and say in a very calm, breathless manner,"Dear god, that's so damned sexy." I'll even forgive him for having gone to Berkeley. It is followed by a giggle when he's put the pen down and the compound is identitfied. I'm proof that being a male geek isn't going to keep women from wanting you. Quite the contrary, women love that shit! Hell, let's work on functions and do a geometry proof. Recite the elements on the periodic table for me and tell me what they can be used for. I don't care what anybody says, brains are dead sexy. I'm not saying that I think that artists aren't sexy anymore, but I have to give it up for the brains, the geeks, the dorks who are trying their damnedest to be cool, but embrace their dorkdom. Hell, I watch anime like Cowboy Bebop, used to play D&D, love my computer, have watched Star Wars about a million times; I'm a dork and I proudly admit it. To deny it would be to deny my friends and invalidate who I am. So here is to the brains, those who have a sense of humility and genuineness that most artists lack, a love for the intelligent and thirst for knowledge. If there were a calendar out there with one hot dork for every month of the year, I'd be the first in line to buy it. Come on, Greg Sanders, give me a call and let's talk superheavies.
Jude Law, my Adonis, co-stars with the likes of Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Uma Thurman. He's got the pick of the litter if he wanted to date these women and vice versa. With all these gorgeous women, it must be a practice in self-discipline to keep it professional and not fall all over yourself for one of your co-stars. I mean, who isn't drawn to the very beautiful? And to have it on a daily basis at your JOB? It explains why there are so many Hollywood marriages that go kaput--add the hours and traveling; I'm surprised Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward are still married. Currently, Jude's dating his Alfie co-star Sienna Miller--I've proven my own point. Dating a Hollywood star, especially being an average Jane myself where the most exciting part of my day is not playing a practical joke on Bobby DeNiro but solving a coding issue, would be a nightmare. I'm bland in comparison to the starlet whose job it is to look glamorous and seductive and be able to drape herself on any leading man. Sienna wins over me. Ah Jude, the beautiful children I would have bore you.... Now that we've covered the reason why I don't date the insanely famous, who the hell do I find so damn sexy?
I was watching an episode of CSI with my friend Shenan. On comes Greg Sanders, the Lab Techie, who is about to give the results of some tests he's run on a powdery substance. Greg tries to make himself interesting by doing and saying things out of left field. And this evening was no different. He says,"Let's play 'Name That Compound,'" and proceeds to the white board to do a molecular diagram. As he's drawing out the compound, I turn my head slightly to Shenan without taking my eyes off the screen and say in a very calm, breathless manner,"Dear god, that's so damned sexy." I'll even forgive him for having gone to Berkeley. It is followed by a giggle when he's put the pen down and the compound is identitfied. I'm proof that being a male geek isn't going to keep women from wanting you. Quite the contrary, women love that shit! Hell, let's work on functions and do a geometry proof. Recite the elements on the periodic table for me and tell me what they can be used for. I don't care what anybody says, brains are dead sexy. I'm not saying that I think that artists aren't sexy anymore, but I have to give it up for the brains, the geeks, the dorks who are trying their damnedest to be cool, but embrace their dorkdom. Hell, I watch anime like Cowboy Bebop, used to play D&D, love my computer, have watched Star Wars about a million times; I'm a dork and I proudly admit it. To deny it would be to deny my friends and invalidate who I am. So here is to the brains, those who have a sense of humility and genuineness that most artists lack, a love for the intelligent and thirst for knowledge. If there were a calendar out there with one hot dork for every month of the year, I'd be the first in line to buy it. Come on, Greg Sanders, give me a call and let's talk superheavies.
<< Home